How to Life: The One About Making Friends
- 50mm
- Nov 15, 2019
- 3 min read
Updated: Jan 15, 2020
It was already a month into school and I had no friends. Of course I had my roommates and I loved them! But no friends that I had made just because we wanted to be friends. And while my roommates were the best, I wanted someone who would go and do things with me when they were all too tired or too busy.
But despite the fact that I was in tons of classes and had two jobs with awesome coworkers, I really hadn’t met anyone that I just clicked with! Making friends is hard and honestly I was starting to get a little discouraged.
Getting Involved
A great quote from a great musical says, “It's a well-known principle that if you keep the flint in one drawer and the steel in the other, you'll never strike much of a fire.” While the speaker was actually referring to finding a relationship, the idea applies to finding and making friends too!
If I never went anywhere but class and only stayed in my apartment the rest of the time, I would never even have the chance to meet someone and become friends! I knew this, so I made sure to involve myself in things as often as I could.
Which is why on a beautiful sunny Saturday morning I found myself at my choir director’s house for a practice. And I was alone. Oh, there were plenty of people around, but I didn’t know any of them and they were all engaged in various conversations with people they already knew. So I stood by myself, observing (I do like to people watch). And that’s when it happened.
Talking to People
I wish I could say that I was the bigger person who stepped up and took the initiative. But I wasn’t. She came in a little late and just stood next to me. We had talked once before in our choir class but that had been it. And since we at least recognized each other it was easy to say to ourselves, “Okay, I at least know this person isn’t a crazy weirdo. I think I can associate myself with them.”
Once we finished practicing it was time for food. And instead of each of us wandering off in different directions we just silently agreed to wander together. So we got our food and found a place to sit.
Conversation is so important! It’s how you get to know someone, it’s how we relate our needs and wants, it’s the basis of our entire way of life. Being able to talk to people is so necessary! And so we talked.
Talking is something that I am good at. I really enjoy having conversations with one or two other people. So it was perfect for me! We spent 45 minutes at least talking about things we liked and everything we had in common. We joked and laughed and discussed our shared interests. And it happened! We clicked.
Being Genuine
We had so much in common and we had a similar sense of humor. And most importantly I was being genuine. It isn’t worth it to have friends who you can’t be yourself around. And she made it easy to be myself. Being genuine is one of the best things (aside from actually going outside) that you can do to make really good friends.
When you are genuine people want to be around you, and you are much more likely to attract those who are also great at being themselves!
The Why
My newfound friend and I just kinda jumped into friendship headfirst and we started hanging out all the time. Now, we go to concerts together, take classes together, and are even going on a trip to another country together! And it’s like I can’t even remember a time when we weren’t friends!
Friends are really important. They help us deal with stress and anxiety, they help us improve the quality of our lives, and they even promote brain health. Even though making and keeping friends can be really hard, they are worth it. And overall, the best way to make a friend is to be a friend!
Do you have any great stories of how you met your friends?
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